The Answers

Well, my prediction that most of you would struggle to fifty per cent was deplorably off – you all did remarkably well, and my efforts to displace Google have failed.  Next year I’ll do better, including such improved questions as “What number am I thinking of now?”

Congratulations to Ian Rogers and Tristan Stevens who tied for top score with almost impeccable accuracy.  Ian has kindly offered to withdraw from the ICC prizes, meaning that the three winners of the quiz, each receiving a 12 month ICC membership, are Tristan, Justin Tan and Frank Lekkas.  I’ll be in touch.  (Andrew Fitzpatrick was only half a point away from Frank, which fortunately diffused any potential cries of nepotism.  Sorry Fitz; I’ll buy you a beer instead.

Phil (‘gocats’) had me in stitches with his incredibly creative and mildly inappropriate responses.  That’s the true Grinchy spirit. 

But he was soundly beaten for the title of most creative submission, which went to a mysterious “Miss Princa”.  She sent me an email (actually mass-sent to hundreds of random addresses) shortly after I posted the quiz, beginning with “i know that you may be surprise how i get your email”, claiming that she was “looking for honest partner”, and inviting me “to contact me through my email so that we can know each other and exchange our pictures, and we may become partner.”  None of the extracts were edited, in order to preserve their true grammatical creativity.  Bonus marks to you, Princa.

The Haikus deserve a post of their own, so I’ll do a ‘Best Of’ later.  Justin and Max Illingworth tied for the top spot.

All the best for the end of 2010, and safe tiding across to Legs Eleven.  As for me, I’m spending my remaining farm days nutting out my resolutions, which I’ll post in good time.  I expect you to share yours also, so that we will have publicly recorded documentation of how far we’ve failed, come this time next year.

In the meantime, here are the answers, with notable mentions.  Please direct all corrections, criticisms and complaints to Ricky Ponting.  

1. What scandalous annual bicycle race, in which I participated this year, has supergrandmaster Nigel Short threatened to fly to Australia to join me in next year?

The World Naked Bike Ride

2. What do Carl Lewis, Moby, Natalie Portman and I have in common?

We have all shaved our heads.  (Or, alternatively, I would have accepted “All ridiculously attractive”. Half a point to Andras’ “You were all born on an odd day of the month”.  

Zero points were awarded for “You are all terrible actors”.)

3. What do Carl Lewis, Moby, and Natalie Portman have in common that I do NOT?

They are all Vegans.  (A surprisingly common answer was “They are all gay”.  Incorrect, though it is true that having to star opposite Hayden Christensen as her romantic Star Wars counterpart may have been enough to turn Nat.

Zero points for “They don’t know **** about the 6.Bc4 Sicilian Najdorf – not because I don’t believe you, Andras, but because neither do I.)

4. How long is a newborn kangaroo?

2.5 cm, give or take.

5. What did Fi have to pretend to be in order to obtain a visa to join me at the World Chess Cup in Siberia last year?

My trainer.  (Zero points for “Your wife”.  Not funny.)

6. What is the largest cricket field (by playing area) in the country?

Manuka Oval.  (yes, really)

7. How many floors are there at the Australian Treasury building in Canberra?

Seven.  (Controversial.  There are six floors above ground, one below, and the ground floor itself – which I don’t count.  So I make it seven.)

8. Why did Lea Michele, who plays Glee star Rachel Berry, have glass in her hair during her character audition?

She had a car crash outside the audition venue.  (Although I can’t prove that she wasn’t wearing glass earrings, no points there.)

9. What did Australian Grandmaster Ian Rogers major in at university?

Meteorology

10. According to David Frost, having one child makes you a parent, while having two children makes you a what?

A referee  (“Bloody desperate to reproduce” was, well, a little bizarre.)

11. How many children do I want? (BONUS: And what notable group of people have I threatened to name them after?)

Eleven;  World Chess Champions.  (Some notable and very worrying efforts, largely musical focused: The Village People, Backstreet Boys, ABBA and ZZ Top were among the more curious answers.  The Smurfs was also a common choice.)

12. What Australian Rules football team does 40 per cent of the Australian men’s chess team support?

St Kilda  (Not “Melbourne FC” – Andras showing his football code partiality in all its glory.)

13. Who received the third most popular votes in the 1992 US election?

Ross Perot  (“Mike Tyson” was a noteworthy alternative.)

14. In October, an Australian international master married a fellow Australian chess player to give the married couple a combined ACF rating of 3569. Who are they?

Guy West and Jean Watson

15. This is a far cry from the record for an Australian couple, however. Can you name the seven Australian married couples that have crossed the elusive 4000 barrier for their combined ACF ratings? (one point each)

Ian and Cathy Rogers; John Paul Wallace and Ingela Erikson; Stephen and Janeen Solomon; Igor Bjelobrk and Ingela Erikson; Vladimir and Irena Feldman; Daniela and Vladimir Nutu-Gajic; Arthur and Lynda Pope, John and Narelle Kellner.

(The most controversial question, and quite hard to cross-check.  You can see eight listed above, after I left out John Paul/Ingela. I was unable to verify whether the couples Gary/Nancy Lane, Cecil/Anne Purdy or Adrian/Katrin Wills were ever over 4000 on the same ACF rating list.

You would also have gotten a point for Tony Miles/Jeannie Khoo, pointed out by Ian Rogers, as Tony was an Aussie resident while married. 

“Posh and Becks”, meanwhile, was fairly easy to dismiss.) 

16. Can you name the world’s current highest-rated husband-and-wife team, at a whopping combined FIDE rating of 5218?

Alexander Grischuk and Natalia Zhukova

17. What herb, despite her distinct lack of horticultural talent, has my housemate somehow managed to successfully grow on our balcony?

Mint.  (The only clue was that this is one of the easiest of the household herbs to grow through the Canberra Winter.  Most of the notable guesses are rather inappropriate, with the exception of Max Illingworth’s intriguing “Talayahuasca plant.  The pieces will float through the air, allowing you to work out amazing combinations and even to play out entire games on the astral plane while your opponent is stuck in the now.”  This is arguably the sort of concept one would usually assume to be the result of the herb many of you suggested.) 

18. How many James Bond films have one-word titles?

Five  (Goldfinger, Thunderball, Moonraker, Octopussy, and Goldeneye)

19. Which Australian was nicknamed the “Stud of the Olympiad” at the recent chess championships in Siberia?

Jamie Kenmure (Phil’s “Stephen Solomon” was a good effort.)

20. What was the combined total of Mitchell Johnson’s runs scored and wickets taken in the first Ashes cricket test?

Zero

21. What was the first name of Australia’s Russian translator at the recent chess Olympiad? (BONUS: What was the name of the chart-topping hit song by the American nineties pop singer of the same name?)

Anastasia – “I’m outta love”  (Technically, her hits were in the ‘Noughties’, as several of you pointed out.  In fact, Frank was the only person to actually nominate a smash hit sung by an Anastasia in the nineties – “T99”. Very creative lyrics.)

22. What toilet-humoured musical won three Tony awards and ran for almost one thousand performances on Broadway, and was recently performed at the Australian National University?

Urinetown  (A tough one that most struggled with.  Phil was at it again at the top of the incorrect list with “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Defecator”.)

23. Which Australian chess player controversially won the 2005 World Chess Beauty Contest?

Vaness Reid

24. In a 1968 episode of Star Trek, Captain Kirk and Lieutenant Uhuru were involved in the world’s first televised what?

The first televised interracial kiss.

25. How many degrees does a bowling pin have to tilt before it falls? (point for within 2.5 degrees)

7.5 degrees.

26. According to H.G. Wells, why might you want to teach chess to a promising politician or talented artist?

To destroy them.

27. Which 5 international capital cities only have one syllable? (one point each)

Bern (Switzerland), Minsk (Belarus), Seoul (South Korea), Prague (Czech Republic), Rome (Italy).

(Quite a few of you suggested Male, which is pronounced “Mah-lay” and written with an accent, Malé.  Lomé, also nominated by a few of you, is similar.  I’m still unsure of the proper pronunciation of Nuuk, capital of Greenland, so I allowed it.)

28. How many languages does Aussie chess starlet Arianne Caoili speak fluently?

Four.  (Tough.  Arianne herself gave me this answer, but a few of you pointed out an interview in which she claimed more.  Still, I’m sticking with her official answer.)

29. Jack and Jill are lying on the floor inside the house, dead. They died from lack of water. There is shattered glass next to them. Why did they die?

They are fish, and their bowl broke. (Or some similar variant to this.)

30. For what purpose did the Roman Emperor Nero’s wife allegedly keep 500 donkeys?

So she could bathe in their milk.  (But Phil’s answer was far better: “She wanted them to replace FIDE.”)

31. Everybody knows that 25 December is Christmas Day. But can you match up the following lesser-known (but far cooler) official days in December with their dates?

[Humbug Day, Dewey Decimal System Day, Barbie and Barney Backlash Day,

International Ninja Day, Make Up Your Mind Day] … [5, 10, 16, 21, 31] (one point

each)

Dewey Decimal System Day – 10th December

International Ninja Day – 5th December

Make up your mind day – December 31

Barbie and Barney Backlash Day – 16th December

Humbug Day – 21 December